From Debaku to Debacle. What Happened to 24?

19 months, 20 days. That's the length of time between season's 6 & 7 of 24. In that (short?) amount of time the writers of 24 scripted a decent opening, great middle, the "twist",   ...and that's about it.

In a season where the producers of 24 made a proactive choice to mirror the newly elected administration's refresher course of the Geneva Conventions, they inadvertently reflected one aspect of the previous administration: No exit strategy. 

My question is this: Are season finale cliff hanger endings ruining television? I pose this question to the "Doin' Work" staff as i am split. My argument is this, if a show is serialized, i.e. Lost then no, they're ok. But 24 is not. Each 24 season finale usually ends with something unexpectedly happening to Jack to set up the following season, but not before wrapping up the current season. They didn't do that this year. They completely robbed us of the Renee/Jack story arch, as well as their respective outcomes. (does Renee murder Wilson? Does Kim save her Dad?) No. Instead they grind out the ending with the President and her daughter, the one story I least cared about. It upsets me because the chances of us seeing Renee next year are slim, and if we do it's short term. (think Audrey Raines)

24's season finale was the equivalent of the NFL playing only 3 quarters of a Super Bowl and making us wait until the pre-season for the 4th quarter. It's garbage.

While we are on the subject of the show 24, here's a list of things i no longer want to see in the show and i swear if they bust these oot next year I'm done.

1. "Jack has gone rogue!" (not excluding: "We've lost Jack's signal", "Jack's disabled his cell phone/transponder", "Believe it agent (agent's name), Jack's been working for (bad guy's name) all along. He played us")

Every (expletive) season there comes a point where Jack temporarily goes "rogue" to get things done. This is NOT necessary. I repeat, NOT necessary.

2. "There's a mole in the (name of government agency)!"

The reason why Jack Bauer goes rogue every season is because in each season there is a mole in the government. So fixing this will fix number one on my list, right? I believe in order for a mole to work effectively in a show it can't be used every season and when it is used, it should be towards the end of a season not the middle.

3. "We need Chloe O'brien."

So Chloe O'brien is supposed to be the Jack Bauer of computers, striking fear at the hearts of viruses. If they had hearts. My question is this: Which producer is this chick sleeping with? Don't get me wrong, I like Chloe, but there's got to be someone else who knows how to reset servers 1 through 6 and open sockets 97 & 98. C'mon.

4. The President's Story

I am not loving the way they are spending time inside the oval office. These stories just bore me to death and always have me searching for the remote. Who cares if the President's advisor has his own agenda only to be thwarted by the secret service. BORING. I'd prefer to see the inner workings of the pentagon. In order for the military focus to work this show needs a second star and two locations. What I'm saying is Jack Bauer needs a Scottie Pippen. My story arc would be Scottie Pippen is in the United States working the political/intelligence angle and Jack Bauer is in Mexico City delivering the wrath of Lebron, oops I mean God, on a couple of drug families as their violence has spilled into the U.S. and Bauer is NOT hearing it.

So i know "El guerito" is a fan. Anyone else? Thoughts? If i missed a few things feel free to comment. I am almost positive i have.

Was Abraham absent minded or is God one of those drunk guys that tells the same story over and over again?

Having a lot of free time the last week at work I picked up a bible, that a co-worker had brought for the sake of argument, and began reading through it. Now, I tried reading the bible once before, when I thought it was true, and I didn't make it passed the 3rd chapter. This time, however, I read through the entire book of Genesis in one day! The following are a couple of mental notes I made while reading. First of all, it's drastically redundant. I can see why ministers take one citation here and one citation there. Reading straight through is like a severe case of chronic deja vu. For example, here are the four times that god promised Abraham that his descendants would multiply and take over the world. 

Genesis 12:2, 13:16 (uses dust as a metaphor), 15:5 (uses stars), 17:12 (many kings will come forth). After making the same promise four times god tells Abraham to murder his only son, Genesis 22:2, when he sees that Abraham was dumb enough to do it he promises yet again that his descendants would rule the world, 22:12. Let me get this straight, you make the same promise four times when no one is forcing you to, you tell the guy to kill his kid, and then you act like the promise is a reward for almost killing his kid?? So were the first 4 times just a joke? My explanation, these stories were originally an oral tradition, which makes them very hard to keep accurate, think telephone times a million. Solution, be redundant, be very redundant. That way the main points have a greater chance of making it through the ages. When someone finally decided to put pen to papyrus they probably thought all the metaphors were simply too fresh to pass up so they included all of them. 

Secondly, every female in the first 30 chapters is sterile. Really? Stop and think, how many sterile woman do you know? What are the chances that the wives of Abraham (Gen. 16:1), Isaac (Gen. 25:21) and Jacob (Gen. 29:31) are all sterile!? Was it the water? Maybe they should have been eating pork!? My explanation, like Joseph Smith, who I'm sure we would agree was a lunatic, there needed to be an excuse for polygamy. Why was it ok for these guys to take on more than one partner while their wives had to remain faithful? Well, the bible was written in hindsight, so you not only write the wives off as sterile, you add that they insisted that their husbands sleep with their maidservants. I don't know about you guys, but that's probably the last thing my girlfriend would suggest if she were unable to bear children.

Third, this one was kind of a favorite, Abraham would tell Sarah to claim she was his sister, lest they kill him. First in Egypt (12:12), then again in Gerar (20:2). Both times god would rat him out through a dream he would give the king. The king, freaked out by the dream, would then give Abraham every thing he wanted or needed. Sounds like a good con to me. Here's the best part, the king of Gerar was Abimilech, this same king would have the same issue years later when Abraham's son Isaac comes into Gerar and tells Rebekah to say she was his sister (26:6). Seeing as this isn't a common occurrence, if you were the king wouldn't you be like, "What the hell is wrong with these people?!" My explanation, this happened to one guy one time (sans the god induced dream), but again, when putting charcoal to cave wall how do you not use this fresh anecdote multiple times??

Here are some smaller points I noticed, Genesis 13:32 Lot bones not one but both of his daughters. Of course, the way it's written they got him wasted and then seduced him. Right. Thats always how these things happen isn't it? What really happened, he got his daughters drunk and then laid the hebrew national to both of them. In a culture where a women's word is worthless his excuse was taken as a true account. I wouldn't suggest anyone try this method, the justice system would never let you get away with it. Next, Genesis 17:10 god establishes his covenant with Abraham and here it is, cut your wiener. Say What?! Yeah you heard that right, gods choice way of making a covenant with mankind was for Abraham and his descendants to cut their wieners. What really happened? Nomadic people didn't have the best hygiene so it probably wasn't that uncommon for their wieners to get infected. One solution, cut that bitch! But wait, we can't just tell people that we customarily cut our wieners, lets make up some elaborate story as to how god told us to do it!

So there you have it, my recent experience with the bible; a mythological explanation for how things came to be, every culture has them and this is no different.

Steven Garrard, fancy that...

Note: this should be a comment to the post below, but the public library apparently doesn't allow comments thru it's wi-fi. It's the only difference from when I normally post from my laptop. If BDW has even the slightest hint of OCD as I do, I don't blame you if you format to it proper place. So, here you go bloody wankers.

Steven Gerrard, Liverpool midfielder and captain. I pretty much agree with all the names mentioned above but my top 5 has to have this guy. Messi just gets it done, Cristiano Ronaldo likewise. Et’o and Xavi not far behind. Ballack is only 32 but for me, he has to step aside on this list to the young guys. I might have to nominate Gerrard to your Xavi question, slideshow...I wish I could have seen more premier league this season, but Gerrard is at the absolute top of his game right now.

Don't Mess(i) With the Lion(el)

Post Your Top Futbol Players Right Now. (not all time)

1. Lionel Messi

2. Cristiano Ronaldo

3. Zlatan Ibrahimovic

4. Samuel Eto'o

5. Fernando Torres

I love both Man U and Barca so I was not rooting for either team specifically, but this may change that

All in all, Wednesday was a pretty good day for Kobe Bryant. First, he watched his favorite soccer team, FC Barcelona, complete a perfect season by adding the European Champions League trophy to its haul of 2009 titles by defeating Manchester United in the final. Over in England, meanwhile, Bryant wasn't earning any votes at the Guardian, which in a pregame column matched celebrity fans of Barcelona against celebrity fans of Manchester United. "Kobe who?" asked the newspaper. "Apparently, he's big in America, but so is shooting your friends. The L.A. Lakers' main attraction claims that he's Barcelona through and through and he loves watching soccer when he's not counting his money."

Los Angeles Times

1. Saying "Kobe who?" at this point is no longer witty, it's just ignorant. As much as I like Rooney I bet there are more Brits who know and appreciate KOBE! than there are Americans who even know who Wayne Rooney is.

2. "So is shooting your friends"?? Wow Guardian, you just lost all credibility as a respected media source. If the Washington Post said anything half that despicable about your cold island and its inhabitants you would demand that the UN wiggle an apology from every American citizen. Get over yourselves.

3. You should be happy that such a huge American icon is a dedicated fan of a sport most people here don't even follow.

4. Funny how you claim to not know who KOBE! is but you make a comment aboot him counting his money. . .

Coco Chanel Vs. Coco Crisp

Chanel (1883-1971)

Crisp (1979-Pres)

Edge: Crisp

Chanel's real first name: Gabrielle

Crip's real first name: Covelli

Edge: Crisp

Chanel: Extremely influential French fashion designer

Crisp: Plays baseball

Edge: Chanel

Chanel: Named one of TIME magazine's 100 most influential people of the 20th century

Crisp: Replaced Johnny Damon

Edge: Chanel

Chanel: Her last name was initially misspelled as Chasnel on her birth certificate

Crisp: Probably still misspells his first name

Edge: Crisp

Chanel: Began designing hats as a hobby

Crisp: Wears a beanie under his baseball cap

Edge: Chanel

Chanel: Died in her private suite at the Hotel Ritz in Paris

Crisp: Was traded to the Royals for a relief pitcher

Edge: Chanel

Who would win if Coco Chanel and Coco Crisp went head to head?

Coco Chanel: 4 

Coco Crisp: 3 

The Mothership

To borrow nomenclature from Dan Patrick, yesterday the mothership that is espn.com is helping their own cause in trying to get me to stop watching it. Yes, watching the website. I understand the convergence of new media in the digital age, but when I simply want to see a box score or read one article, I automatically get bombarded with highlight clips, analyst segments, commercials, etc. Just stop. One can barely navigate the website as it is. I digress. My point here is yesterday's cover story for most of the day was "How would LeBron do as a football player?" Are you serious Mr. Bodenheimer? You let this garbage permiate one of the most viewed website? Unreal.

El Guerito took a hiatus from ...doing work! due to circumstances beyond his control, but has several posts in the queue.

- p.s. For the record, I highly respect George Bodenheimer, espn's president. Started working in the mailroom and has done many, many good things.

CROSBY!!

After completing a four game sweep of the 'Canes the Penguins are now just waiting for what will most likely be a rematch with last years champions, the Detroit Red Wings. CROSBY!

*In the press conference following the win CROSBY! was asked what happened to all the Lebron posts on the Doin' Work blog, he had no comment.

Penguins Invoke Satan; Take 2-0 Lead

Actually, he was only on the ice for 18 minutes and Malkin was the one who scored a hat-trick, but if people are always thanking god for their victories why can't this guy get some credit? At least he plays! Unlike god who's probably conjuring up another tsunami somewhere in the third world yet he racks up all the accolades. It must be tough being a pro athlete, you work your ass off your entire life just trying to get a shot at the big time but you can't even acknowledge your own hard work without having to give someone else the glory. And if that's not bad enough, every time you have an off night you have to take accountability for playing lousy. Wait! Where'd that guy taking all the credit go? Oh, he's in the adjoining press room taking credit for the other teams win. Now ain't that a bitch.

Former NFL coach Jon Gruden holds sportswriter Tony Kornheiser at gunpoint demanding the third spot in the MNF booth

   

   So in case you haven't heard, we will no longer be blessed with Tony's failed attempts at being both funny and witty on ESPN on monday nights. His charming knack for beating a horse to death, and then going to work on it, will now be a distant memory as we now have reenactments of Child's Play 1, 2 and 3 to look forward to. So why is the guy who would rather mute the game and watch it in silence commenting on the commentators? Well, for one, I can't stand Kornheiser any more than he can help being unfunny, an 2, I'm very disappointed that all the sports websites are following Yahoo Sports' lead. I swear the headline made it seem like ESPN dumped Tony for Gruden. Come to find oot later that Tony has been considering retirement for quite some time and he really doesn't care for the wear of traveling cross country anymore. Fair enough, he's an old guy, Madden just did the same thing. So why not just say it? I understand the concept of trying to get a reader's attention, but at what cost? You lose credibility when everyone finds oot how misleading the headline is. That and I finally figured oot how to post pictures!!!

Euro, baby, Euro

So my case begins. I am so tired of NCAA hypocracy that I am investing myself into the hope of more top notch high school basketball players giving the NCAA the finger and going to Europe for a year. Here are my arguments if these youngsters are willing to lend an ear:
1. You're playing in Europe. Most kids your age dream of the chance to live abroad for a year. The time away from home will help you grow up and mentally prepare yourself for the NBA. It's too common, even now that the kids are forced to go to college, that they arrive in the NBA and they still have that mentality if being away from home and making it on your own for the first time. If there were a way to get all kids to go abroad for a year, not just basketball players, I think there would be a lot to benefit from it. Sometimes our lack of exposure is the reason we have such a limited and primitive world view, being away on our own would help broaden that view.
2. The competition. Even though all kids are forced to go to college, the competition is dramatically lower than it is in the NBA and its mainly because you're matched up against other boys. Playing in Europe would match you up against men who have been playing for years and there would be so much you could learn from them boff on and off the court. Getting treated as a rookie and being manhandled by the vets would be a good break from the coddling and worship you've been getting your whole life. As far as improving your game, being treated as an equal as opposed to a program's "saviour", would help you keep your focus and help you develop your game instead of playing a year as if you are god's gift to that university.
3. You're getting P-P-P-P-P-PAID. How nice would it be to be living in Europe, playing the game you love and getting paid for it?! With the NCAA you need at least two waivers just so that your roommate can buy you a sandwich for lunch. Stop dealing with an organization that wants to force you to work for free so that they can use your brand throughout the course of the season and make millions off of it! YOU make the money off YOUR own brand, now isn't that a concept! Oh youre getting a free education so in essence you arent playing for free?? Really? Youre taking the minimum amount and easiest classes they will let you take, are you really getting an education?

So my proposition is official, let's put an end to the fascist NCAA regime and lets help these youngsters do what they want to do for a living, play ball and get paid to do it.

Technical Incompetence

BDW, is there a way to get an email or an alert when a comment is made?  I feel a lot of our literary gold might be missed because it keeps getting pushed lower and lower.  

On a separate note, is it the end of 40 games, 40 nights? No ball on tonight.  Unless, the catchy slogan is meant to be read "40 games (on TNT only) in 40 night but not necessarily 40 games in 40 consecutive nights" then I am wrong.  Maybe this more accurate statement was their back-up choice.  

TJ at it again

I don't want to turn my posts into the TJ Simers fan club and would like to think I can post original content withoot simply posting a link.  BUT, after watching or reading aboot the Lakers performance last night, this guy won't sugarcoat anything.  Like him (me) or hate him (Coach), he will never give anyone a free pass.  He goes over the top at times, yes, but that's his tongue-in-cheek style.

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-simers-lakers15-2009may15,0,2245538.column

Dream Team Debate

So one of my wife's cousins asked me this the other day: If the Original Deam Team played today's Dream Team, who would win?

OGs:

PG-Magic

SG-MJ

SF-Bird

PF-Malone

C-Robinson

Bench:

Stockton, Drexler, Pippen, Mullen, Ewing, and Barkley (I refuse to include that other guy from Duke)

My 2009 picks:

PG-CP3

SG-Kobe

SF-LeBron

PF-Garnett

C-Howard

Bench:

Wade, Carmelo, Pierce, DWill, Boozer, Bosh, and Redd

. . . that and a thousand dollars will get you half a months rent

   So, true to Yahoo Sports fashion, they release a rumor, sell it as the truth when it's completely unsubstantial. Sound like faith?? Ok, ok, I wont go there. Here's what I'm saying, a story like this shouldn't be released until we have everything we need to make an objective judgment call. I'm not saying this guy is full of shit, but what's the point of putting oot the story if there is no proof and no decision has been reached by the authorities? Oh wait, it's vintage Yahoo Sports, thats why. In fact, Yahoo Sports should always just be a bunch of headlines because they never back up their claims. I keep reading the articles hoping to find something definitive but it's all, in the words of Burgwood "she said, she said". 

   With that said, what do I think?  Well, I'm torn because I would like to think the accuser has more reason than simply to bash USC. I'm not seeing what he stands to gain by bringing this up all of a sudden. Maybe he just wants the truth to be told. I definitely see it as a possibility, but he might just be a bitter dude and I'm giving him way too much credit. On to the allegation, one thousand dollars!? What the hell are you going to do with that? Buy one rim? Furthermore, the money didn't go to Mayo, it went to the accuser. So you're going to tell me that the top rated recruit in the nation went to USC because Tim Floyd gave some other guy a thousand bucks? Like I stated earlier, the guy might be telling the truth, but if you can make a decision based on the proof he provided, I have a Tome that contains 66 books and I'd love to sell it to you.

"Eslo" down...

As Slideshow's cousin reminds us here, we have to slow down a bit on the LeBron as Yahweh references. He might well be the second coming of his Airness, but he's not winning this year's Final. BDW made some great points on his earlier post, but I can't see LeBron willing his team to a championship over the Lakers. Thoughts:

1. The Eastern Conference is a poor barometer of dominance. Props to Bron-Bron for steering his boys to their record, but there is no way the Cavs only lose 2 homes games playing in the West. Take the last LA-Houston and Atl-Cavs games: The Lakers and Cavs each scored chump-change totals in the 1st quarter registering 15 and 16 points, respectively. The Lakers could never recover against a grinding Houston D, while the Cavs shrugged it off, recovered, and reminded the Hawks who was running the show.

2. I should be giving more credit to the Cavs for their consecutive series sweeps, but Detroit and Atlanta were glorified garbage this year. Detroit finished with a losing record and Atlanta finished with a high .500's winning percentage. On the flip side, the #8 seed Jazz out West, barring injuries, could have made a serious run on the conference and not be relegated to playing LA. Heck, the trade the Suns with any of the 5-8 seeds in the East and they're right up there with Orlando and not sitting at home waiting for 2010.

3. The Cavs can't match the Lakers in depth. Bron-Bron factors more into his team's play than Kobe because of his versatility, but the supporting cast will determine the outcome. I would be worried if my top subs are Wally Sczxvserwejuerkeiak and Joe Williams.

4. Lakers-Cavs comparison:

PG-Fisher vs. Williams: Williams
SG-Kobe vs. West: C'mon.....
SF- Ariza vs. LeBron: See note above, x3
PF-Odom vs. Varejao: Odom
C-Illgauskas vs. Gasol: Gasol

Bench: Lakers-When you can have 7 guys get at least 20 minutes and 2 get at least 18, playoff fatigue will not be a factor. The Cavs are a young and engergetic team, but in a tough game, benches are always a factor. The Cavs' starters got the lion's share of the minutes against the Hawks. That doesn't bode well for against a team that will actually play back.

5. Kobe shot 7-17 during the last game for a mortal-like 17 points. My dime says he scores 50 this game...

BDW: Don't Fast on LeBron

ben, good....work! as this site progresses and matures, I too am going to have to moderate my references to the blog title, but it's just so sweet. it's so sweet you guys. the way I think aboot it is this. we will comment, opine on whatever's topical with our unique way of looking at things. don't self-impose a lebron ban because you've already put in the...work! of putting up with the regular season. I'm seriously, the regular season was just starting as the Chargers were blowing away the season which seems like ages ago. so enjoy it while you can. KOBE!

With all apologies to Lebron James. . . and Jesse Jackson

   I have always considered myself an objective, albeit critical, sports fan. I grew up in San Diego so I follow the local programs but that doesn't mean I always root for them. While I believe in loyalty, I believe that it is a two way street. I refuse to blindly invest my passion into a team that has zero interest in winning ball games i.e the Padres. I do not believe this makes me a fair weather fan; I simply think that I deserve a return on my investment. In order for people to listen to you when you comment on sports, you have to maintain these 4 Noble Truths (to borrow from Buddhism): Be consistent, be objective, do your research and don't make it personal. There's nothing wrong with being a homer, Fight On Troy, but if you don't substantiate your opinion it will not be taken seriously. I'm seriously.

    So, why the diatribe? Up until recently I have hated Lebron James with every bone in my body. Why? For no good reason really. He's an attention whore, so are most professional athletes. He's more self absorbed than Napoleon Bonaparte, so is Napoleon Bonaparte. So I don't really have a good reason, which contradicts the afore mentioned Noble Truths. Which is why I have resolved to de-board from the "I hate Lebron" train at the next stop. This doesn't mean I'm going to root for him, I'm still KOBE! through and through, I'm just not going to waste my time hating him for no apparent reason. So there you have it, I have laid down my burden at the foot of the proverbial cross. Now I can spread this gospel one Red Sox fan at a time.

Reasons why Cleveland will NOT win the title

1. Phil Jackson just dropped an uncensored F-bomb at his press conference, clearly the man is determined.

2. There is no "guerito que le ayuda a Lebron"

3. Every time lebron has to tell his mom to "sit her ass down" the Machine is going to drain another tre.

4. Lebron's hearing with the United Nations concerning his request to be recognized as an individual country falls on the same week as the championship

5. There's a reason Eric Cartman always says his moves are "Totally Kobe" and not "totally lebron"

6. Is ESPN producing a Spike Lee film titled "Lebron Doing Work"? No.

7. KOBE!

Faith + 1

so your artwork and praise for LeBron James got me thinking with Biblical analogies.

1. The aforementioned LeBron = Moses. Trying desperately to lead his team to the promise land. Spent a good part of his life in god-forsaken places. Cleveland/Akron. The wilderness.  
2. Kobe = King David. Had a little fling with a broad ootside his marriage yet largely overshadowed by other great works accepted by the masses.  
3. Jason Kidd = Job. The poor bastard unselfishly leads his team/family for most of his life yet god screws him for no reason. see game 3 in the Denver-Dallas series.  
4. Kevin Garnett = Joseph. The sympathetic favorite one we're supposed to like because of their personal stories (poor upbringing, brothers sold him), but just so damn hard to do so.  
5. Methuselah = Sam Cassell. Is this guy finally retired?  
6. Jacob = Derek Fisher. No one can really remember anything bad aboot them and they're both physically scrappy. (I'm assuming Jacob was the one that wrestled with the angel) I'm sure you guys can think of more.
   

Kevin Ellison

This is a snapshot during the 2009 Rose Bowl USC beatdown.  Keyshawn joined Brent and Herbie sometime in the 2nd half.  The point I wanted to share here (nevermind that Keyshawn got all but one wrong) is that at least one other person besides slideshow and I thought Kevin Ellison was a great pick for the Chargers in the 6th round. 

Relax LA...

Doin' Work - 

While I appreciate the detailed analysis supporting the Cavs this year, allow me to make a few comments in response to this afternoon's Houston-LA game.

Look, the Lakers clearly played passively, looked lethargic and failed to match the energy of the "win one for Yao" revitalized home team.  But such a performance can be excused.  One win away from clinching the series and getting rid of the pesky Rockets, it is natural for a team to look a little slow.  One game--at Staples no less--is all they need to get rid of the pesky Rockets.  So what if Aaron Brooks looked like CP3, the hard work was done on the road trip.  They built a sizeable cushion to take a game off today.  You don't have to go back to Houston, instead using a few extra days to get ready for Denver who suddenly enjoys playing defense.  So before everyone starts getting on Lamar, Fisher and....oh, I'm being told the Lakers were only up 2-1 entering today and not 3-1.  hmmm, nevermind then.